Heather Buchanan

Kiss and Tell


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The Cupid Compatibility Quiz
By Heather Buchanan

Do opposites really attract?  The city boy who marries the country girl or the wealthy businessman who falls for the hooker with a heart of gold?  Romantic odd couples find love more easily in film than in life.  Sure there’s hot, passionate, irrational love, but then there’s the morning after.

From Ovid to Oprah, humans have been musing about the nature of love and what makes a good match.  Psychologists pose different theories on personality types and which ones shall we say “blend.”  In your own personal cosmic cocktail of love, what adds up to a divine elixir, and what’s as combinable as oil and water?

Here’s our own quiz – take it with your new loved one and see where you come out on cupid’s scale of compatibility.

1) You’re at a fabulous party, how long do you stay:

  1. until the liquor runs out or the police arrive
  2. a half hour max

2) In terms of travel would you rather:

  1. visit somewhere new each trip
  2. find your favorite place and buy a time share (oops I mean fractional ownership)

3) How would you describe your social circle:

  1. a morphing group of acquaintances both business and personal
  2. a few close friends who get together on occasion

4) Do you feel more energized by:

  1. an hour of meditating
  2. b) the VIP tent at Bridgehampton Polo

5) If you see a stray dog by the side of the road do you:

  1. figure it seems to be headed in a certain direction so is probably okay
  2. take it home and feed it a tuna sandwich until you can figure out where it belongs

6) In making a major purchase do you:

  1. research which is the best manufacturer and shop around to get the best price
  2. walk by a store window and think “I have to have it!”

7) How much do you tip:

  1. Double the tax
  2. 20% I’m sure they need the money more than I do

8) In school were you better at:

  1. multiple choice tests
  2. essay tests

9) If you lost your job would you:

  1. cancel your HBO subscription and get on Craig’s list for a job search
  2. figure that something will turn up and go to the beach

10) In planning a trip to Europe would you:

  1. research the best places to stay and things to do and set an itinerary
  2. decide once you get there what you wanted to do

11) If you won the lottery how would you spend the money:

  1. pay off credit card debt
  2. head off to a five star resort in Turks and Cacaos

12) You’re half an hour late for a date:

  1. you’re mortified and have called every five minutes to give a traffic update
  2. you tell your date about the most fantastic sunset you’ve stopped to watch over the bay

13) Which do you think is hotter:

  1. planned get away in a romantic B&B
  2. make up sex

14) After you’ve had a fight the night before, how do you feel the next morning:

  1. I can’t believe how hurtful that was; does he/she really feel that way?
  2. What fight?

15) How long would you stay in a relationship you didn’t think was working:

  1. I’d get out as soon as I felt like there was more bad than good.
  2. Forever unless something better seemed to come along.

16) How do you feel about love quizzes?

  1. I think it’s an interesting starting point for a discussion about the relationship
  2. What a waste of time – I’m just agreeing to it hoping to get laid

Questions 1 - 4
1) EXTROVERT vs 2) INTROVERT
A social butterfly may not find a wall flower’s nectar so sweet.  While it’s not necessarily about being social or anti-social, it’s about how you want to socialize.  Extroverts get great energy from other people, even strangers, whereas an introvert is more likely to be energized from just a few close connections.  Also some people prefer a breadth of experience, to know a little about a lot, where others prefer a depth of experience, to know a lot about a little.

Questions 5 - 8
1) HEAD vs 2) HEART
One person’s Doppler Radar is another person’s tarot card deck.  What do you use as criteria to make decisions?  Some people are what you call “cool headed.”  This doesn’t mean that they’re cold, just that they don’t show as much emotion and tend to make decisions based on observable facts.  You also know the type who “wears their heart on their sleeve.”  They will make emotional decisions according to their feelings, even it flies in the face of reason.  Science operates with one method while faith operates with another.

Questions 9 - 12
1) ROUTINE vs 2) SPONTENAIETY
Some will thrive with set schedules and deadlines and itineraries.  Taking out the wild card gives them great comfort.  Others live for the wild card.  They rebel against too much structure and find it stifles their creativity.  Some live by a work ethic while others live by a play ethic.  Those who find familiarity a great way to stave off disappointment are quite different from those willing to take the risk to find the extraordinary because the ordinary feels to them like death.

Questions 13 - 16
CAPACITY FOR DRAMA
Depending on your upbringing and your personal level of sensitivity you may be 2) very comfortable with a high level of conflict where fighting is just “letting off steam” and doesn’t mean much the next day.  Or you may have 1) a very low tolerance for the drama, finding it defeating and draining, and a source of personal attack, preferring calm rational discussions.  Some couples actually get turned on by the roller coaster of emotions where for others; it just makes them feel nauseous.

So yes there is love and attraction and passion and there is also the rest of life.  It’s worth exploring your own temperament as well as your potential mate’s to see if you face day to day decisions in the same way.  And if you don’t, can you live with that without wanting to change the other person?  Ultimately your Felix has to make his Oscar happy.  Then you can be on the road to those matching windbreakers.

 
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“Things I learned
from fairy tales:
Snow White -
Why date one
man when you
can have seven.”

©2007 Heather Buchanan, all rights reserved.  Materials may not be reproduced without express permission from the author.